Eight Dates: To keep your relationship happy, thriving and lasting

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No matter what your beliefs (even if they differ from your partner’s), it’s important that you each understand and respect each other’s values and belief systems. After all, they are a very important component of what makes each of you, you. Offering empowering ways to discover the love you want and deserve, this extensively tested program of eight fun, conversation-based dates will result in a lifetime of understanding and commitment, whether you’re newly in love or have been together for decades.

Share three things you appreciate about your partner’s contribution to the wealth of the relationship (paid or unpaid work).” I doubt your idea of a fun date night is discussing the things you fight about or examining why you’re a saver or a spender. We rarely set aside time in our busy lives to discuss life’s hardest topics. Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort—and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on forty years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams. Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, written by the Gottman's of the Gottman Institute, is a book about growing, learning about and supporting your romantic partner. The Gottman's look at some of the main sources of conflict and misunderstanding in relationships, and break these categories down into eight dates covering the following: trust and commitment, conflict, sex and intimacy, work and money, family, fun and adventure, growth and spirituality, and finally dreams and aspirations. Each date contains a paragraph to read, with questions to ask and answer for each partner.As a pedagogy expert, I can tell you, to do these dates as written, it would be best to do one per month. Plan one at end of month with 2 hours per week spent in mini dates working on the chap reading, surveys, and questionnaires required leading up to that date.

Dreams. Honoring each other’s dreams is the secret ingredient to creating love for a lifetime. When dreams are honored, everything else in the relationship gets easier. Hi, friends… are you ready to get hot up in herrrre?! Yeah, me neither. But let’s do it anyway… HA! Date Conversation & Goals Der Input an sich ist an den meisten Stellen sicherlich sehr sinnvoll und richtig. Manchmal fühlte es sich aber ein bisschen von oben herab an und als ob die Herangehensweise der Autoren der einzig perfekte Weg wäre. Seltsam fand ich zum Beispiel, dass sie meinten, dass man nicht mit Menschen außerhalb der Beziehung über Probleme in der Beziehung sprechen soll. Das sehen wir nicht so und handhaben es auch anders.What really makes a relationship work? How can we stay interested in our partner for ever? How can we be happier in our marriage? Practically speaking, this book is very user-friendly. It talks about each topic, summarizes the chapter, then lays out a date night plan complete with suggestions for how to prepare, where to go, problems to look out for, questions to ask, and an affirmation to say together at the end of the date. It’s intense but also very doable. My husband and I haven’t gone through each of these dates yet, but the ones we’ve done have been really interesting and made us feel more connected. Then, together, you’ll come up with three new shared rituals for connecting with one another (i.e. weekly game night, taking an exercise class together, cooking a meal together once a week, doing a crossword puzzle together, weekly date night, etc.), and begin to implement them. Hold this date somewhere that feels peaceful, beautiful and spiritual to you both.

I loved that the authors also included small actions that can be immediately implimented. Kissing each other goodbye, finding small ways to show appreciation, committing to a dedicated time to be with each other each week, etc. Again, this is likely not new info for anyone who's read other relationship books but I still found it very well said and still found new takeaways in each chapter. During this conversation, you’ll discuss what family means to each of you. If you haven’t yet had children, will you? How many kids do you want? How were the family dynamics when you grew up? Thinking about ways to cherish your partner will give power to your connection," the authors wrote of this exercise, and it definitely did.Julie Gottman, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and the cofounder and President of The Gottman Institute. She is the cocreator of the immensely popular The Art and Science of Love weekend workshops for couples, and she also co-designed the national clinical training program in Gottman Couples Therapy. She is Author/co-author of five books: Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, And Baby Makes Three, 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy, The Man’s Guide to Women, and The Marriage Clinic Casebook. Julie lives in Seattle. The Conflict Resolution Date: This date is focused on learning how to effectively manage and resolve conflicts in the relationship. The goal of this date is to help couples develop the skills and strategies they need to effectively manage and resolve conflicts in their relationship. This date is designed to help couples build a more harmonious and supportive relationship by learning how to effectively manage and resolve conflicts. To do this, couples can practice effective communication skills such as using “I” statements, active listening, and problem-solving techniques. They can also learn how to manage their own emotions and needs in conflicts, and how to effectively negotiate and compromise with each other. This can help couples build a more harmonious and supportive relationship by learning how to effectively manage and resolve conflicts. As we made our way through the eight dates, we shared long-forgotten stories from our childhoods, rediscovered the power of rituals, revealed our fears about money and sex, debated how many kids we wanted, and shared our dreams. By the end, we agreed it made our relationship stronger. Money is one of the top 5 issues that cause conflict in couples. However, since “money issues aren’t about dollars and cents” but “about what money means to each partner in a relationship,” they won’t be resolved by stereotyping one half of a couple as the saver and the other as the spender – you need to really discover what money means to both of you. So, discuss your biggest money-related fears, hopes, and dreams with your partner. Commit to working together toward a shared financial goal. Date No. 5: Room to grow – family

Eight Dates is a book on marriage and relationships that gets you and your partner to read, think, and then go on a date together. The dates each have a theme and involve answering questions from the book to develop a greater understanding of each other, increase health and vitality in your relationship, and grow closer in the process. Topics covered in this book include: I’m also very grateful to have a partner who has read maybe 3 books in his life and 2 of them are because of me. One of which is this book. He even finished it before me 🥲Mein Freund und ich sind seit fast 3 Jahren zusammen und waren bereit, diese Gesprächs-Dates umzusetzen, weil ich daran geglaubt habe, dass uns das durchaus etwas bringen würde. Growth & Spirituality - if you’re religious, talk about that here. Otherwise, construct sacred rituals with each other. Keep in mind that “8 dates” doesn’t have to be a one time deal; people and relationships evolve over time — you can (and should!) continue to have these types of conversations throughout the course of your relationship. This challenge is just a way to start to build the habit.