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The Best Ever Book of Manchester City Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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Rio Ferdinand leaves TNT Sports studio during Newcastle's Champions League clash with PSG due to 'unforeseen circumstances'... before host Laura Woods assures fans that the Manchester United legend is OK Max Verstappen jokes about going 'straight to the nightclub' in hilarious footage from car ride with Charles Leclerc and Sergio Perez after Sin City win I was walking around the city when i saw a man in a turban shaking his carpet on his balcony. I shouted at him: "What's wrong, it isn't starting?"

What was he trying to do?': Baffled fans question why Kai Havertz shielded the ball out of play for a throw-in immediately after he controlled it Celtic fans are goaded with racist and sectarian banners by Lazio's ultras during Champions League clash in... German bikini bodybuilding champion reveals she must gain 10 KGS before the next champs in Las Vegas Manchester United fans left fuming at question asked by TNT Sports reporter to Erik ten Hag ahead of vital Champions League clash against Galatasaray Swedish trail runner Emilia Brangefalt, 21, dies by suicide after being diagnosed with 'extremely high heart rate' which stopped trainingRio Ferdinand leaves TNT Sports studio during Newcastle's Champions League clash with PSG due to 'unforeseen circumstances'... before host Laura Woods assures fans that the former Man United defender is OK Tyrone Mings sparks retirement fears with Aston Villa fans following a cryptic post in which he insists he 'will share an update today'

Arsenal legend Freddie Ljungberg reveals the ONE weakness he thinks Arsene Wenger's Invincibles had as he admits Champions League regretCRAIG HOPE: Kylian Mbappe endured a frustrating evening against Kieran Trippier and Co... but held his nerve under immense pressure to rescue draw for PSG and break Newcastle's hearts Erling Haaland hails Cristiano Ronaldo's 'incredible' goalscoring and admits he used to 'always watch' the superstar to help him improve as a kid

Man United news LIVE: Sir Jim Ratcliffe agrees to buy 25 per cent stake in the club and Mason Greenwood could make LaLiga switch permanent France captain Antoine Dupont slams referee Ben O'Keeffe after their Rugby World Cup hopes are crushed by South Africa... as head coach Fabien Galthie vows to stay on despite tournament hosts coming up short in quarter-finalItaly reach Euro 2024 in controversial style as Ukraine are denied a late penalty... just days after UEFA chief said it would be a 'disaster' if holders didn't qualify Regarding City's preparation, with three days to get ready after the win at Everton, Guardiola insisted his approach will focus on his own players, rather than the dangers of Real Madrid. Man United 'legends' reunite for a game in Dubai with some looking unrecognisable (and some you might not recognise anyway!)

Hamilton is banned from heading to the casinos ahead of the Las Vegas Grand Prix... with Mercedes boss Wolff urging his team to stay focused Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?" Angel di Maria SPITS at Brazil fans after they throw beer on Argentina players retreating down the tunnel before ill-tempered World Cup qualifying match Tottenham lead Premier League tributes for Terry Venables after their former manager, who won the FA Cup with Spurs in 1991 and led England at Euro '96My daddy is a dancer at a gay bar. He takes off his clothes for other men, and if they pay him enough money, he goes into the alley and performs sexual acts on them.' Brazil 'could face a points DEDUCTION in World Cup qualifying or be forced to play in an empty stadium' with FIFA 'set to open investigation'

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