How to Love (Mindful Essentials): 3 (Mindfulness Essentials)

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The mind can go in a thousand directions, but on this beautiful path, I walk in peace. With each step, the wind blows. With each step, a flower blooms. Thich Nhat Hanh, (now affectionately referred to as “Thay” by his students), was born Nguyen Xuan Bao in central Vietnam in October of 1926. Interested in Buddhism from an early age, he entered the monastery at Tu Hieu Temple in Vietnam at sixteen and worked with his primary teacher, Zen master Thanh Quy Chan That. In 1949, Nhat Hanh, then 23, was ordained as a monk after receiving training in Vietnamese traditions of Mahayana Buddhism and Vietnamese Thien Buddhism.

When I meet a couple who live together and are happy, I propose that they set up a regularly structured time of deep listening to help them stay happy together. Deep listening is, most of all, the practice of being present for our loved one Marianne Williamson, author and former US presidential candidate, said: “He was a great spiritual teacher obviously who brought millions of people around the world into a deeper understanding of the tenets of Buddhism and how to apply them in our daily lives.” A true partner or friend is one who encourages you to look deep inside yourself for the beauty and love you’ve been seeking Supplementing the four core elements are also the subsidiary elements of trust and respect, the currency of love’s deep mutuality:One way we nourish our love is by being conscious of what we consume. Many of us think of our daily nourishment only in terms of what we eat. But in fact, there are four kinds of food that we consume every day. They are: edible food (what we put in our mouths to nourish our bodies), sensory food (what we smell, hear, taste, feel, and touch), volition (the motivation and intention that fuels us), and consciousness (this includes our individual consciousness, the collective consciousness, and our environment). Metta meditation is a practice of cultivating understanding, love, and compassion by looking deeply, first for ourselves and then for others. Once we love and take care of ourselves, we can be much more helpful to others. Metta meditation can be practiced in part or in full. Just saying one line of the metta meditation will already bring more compassion and healing into the world. Your presence is a miracle, your understanding of his or her pain is a miracle, and you are able to offer this aspect of your love immediately. Really try to be there, for yourself, for life, for the people you love. Recognize the presence of those who live in the same place as you, and try to be there when one of them is suffering, because your presence is so precious for this person. Art by Jean-Pierre Weill from The Well of Being This mantra is for when you are suffering and you believe that your beloved has caused you suffering. If someone else had done the same wrong to you, you would have suffered less. But this is the person you love the most, so you suffer deeply, and the last thing you feel like doing is to ask that person for help… So now it is your pride that is the obstacle to reconciliation and healing. According to the teaching of the Buddha, in true love there is no place for pride.

When we stop feeding our cravings, says Thich Nhat Hanh, we discover that we already have everything we need to be happy. There is no path to peace. The path is peace. When you are suffering like this, you must go to the person you love and ask for his or her help. That is true love. Do not let pride keep you apart. You must overcome your pride. You must always go to him or her. That is what this mantra is for. Practice for yourself first, to bring about oneness of your body and mind before going to the other person to say the fourth mantra: “Dear one, I am suffering; please help.” This is very simple but very hard to do. Abhidharma, Buddhism’s map of the mind, is sometimes treated as a topic of merely intellectual interest. In fact, says Thich Nhat Hanh, identifying the different elements of consciousness, and understanding how they interact, is essential to our practice of meditation. The Practice of Looking Deeply Using Three Dharma Seals Even before you do anything to help, your wholehearted presence already brings some relief, because when we suffer, we have great need for presence of the person we love. If we are suffering and the person we love ignores us, we suffer more. So what you can do — right away — is to manifest your true presence to your beloved and say the mantra with all your mindfulness: “Dear one, I know you are suffering. That is why I am here for you.” And already your loved one will feel better. Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love.

This is mindfulness; we become aware of what is happening now and we are in touch with the conditions of happiness that are there inside us and all around us Nhat Hanh suffered a brain hemorrhage in November 2014. He was taken to a stroke rehabilitation clinic at Bordeaux University Hospital, where he was able to recover enough to enjoy sipping tea outdoors and listen to the sounds of the outside world. As of June 2015, Nhat Hanh continues to reside at Plum Village, where his health has made remarkable process and he is able to enjoy being “out in nature, enjoying the blossoms, listening to the birds and resting at the foot of a tree.” Emptiness is not something to be afraid of, says Thich Nhat Hanh. The Heart Sutra teaches us that form may be empty of self but it’s full of everything else. The Four Layers of Consciousness

It is not yet clear how the government of one-party Vietnam, which is wary of organised religion, will react to his funeral, which began yesterday and will last five days. In a sentiment of especial relevance and consolation in these disembodied times, he reminds us that these mantras can be performed across distance, across wires and cables and screens, not requiring the physical presence of the beloved — however they are articulated, they are at bottom meditations containing all four elements of true love as described by the Buddha: love, compassion, joy, and freedom. Illustration by Marianne Dubuc from The Lion and the Bird We can also call it inclusivesness or nondiscrimination. In a deep relationship, there’s no longer a boundary between you and the other person The essence of loving kindness is being able to offer happiness. You can be the sunshine for another person. You can’t offer happiness until you have it for yourself. So build a home inside by accepting yourself and learning to love and heal yourself. Learn how to practice mindfulness in such a way that you can create moments of happiness and joy for your own nourishment. Then you have something to offer the other person.

Thich Nhat Hanh quotes

Thich Nhat Hanh explains how anyone can use the five mindfulness trainings to lead a life of understanding and compassion. Be Beautiful, Be Yourself While the third mantra, “Mantra for Relieving Suffering,” could be magnified and deepened by the atomic rewards of Thich Nhat Hanh’s “hugging meditation,” it too can be extended across the digital distance: In the practice of compassionate listening, you listen with only one purpose: to give the other person a chance to speak out and suffer less. The question then becomes how to grow our own hearts, which begins with a commitment to understand and bear witness to our own suffering: